Just had a fun weekend with the family. Now that Scotty is working out of state again and spends a lot of time away from us he has decided to spend some one-on-one time with the kids, alternating weekends.
So, on Saturday Scotty and Jared took off to play laser tag and have lunch while Caitlin and I spent some girl time at the mall.
I really don't like malls. I don't like the crowds and my feet always hurt. I much prefer the one-stop shopping centers. A mall is a bit more fun when you actually have money to spend and things to buy. We didn't. I did want to figure out what my 11-yr. old wants for Christmas though. I usually have most of my shopping done by Thanksgiving.
I'm getting a little less confident in my abilities to buy for Caitlin now-a-days. She has become more picky and has created or chosen her own individual style. Sometimes she likes a few of the things I do when it comes to clothes but, mostly we are not seeing eye-to-eye lately. I have come to the decision that as long as she is modest and not too over the top (such as punk, grunge, goth, etc...) I can live with her choices. I will save my battles for other things... this isn't one I absolutely have to win.
Caitlin leans a bit toward the punk style. She likes bright neon colors, and zebra print. NOTHING pastel, too girly, and floral. Some of the things she likes are quite cute. It's when she wants to put several of those things together and you wish you had a pair of sunglasses when you glanced her way... that bothers me. So, on our mall adventure we came upon a store. A punk store. Everything punk you could dream of and some I caution you against even thinking about. The employees of said store must have to have a punked out look to get hired. Pink hair, bright neon underclothing worn as clothing, partially shaved heads, some tattoos, nose and tongue piercings... all things that make me want to grab my daughter and run to the nearest Coldwater Creek.
But, I swallowed my tongue and entered the store. She pointed out a few things that were livable and started to touch a few things that were beyond the line I was drawing in my head. I listened to her tell me how cute something hideous was and then with a prayer in my head pointed out the store employee. "What do you think about her appearance? What type of message do you think she sends to other people? Can you see why there has to be a limit drawn on the amount of punk style I let you have? A few accessories are okay. Over the top is not. That girl may be the most God-fearing, lovable, friendly daughter of God on earth... but the message she is sending by her appearance is not that. She looks like she is wearing a Halloween costume, she is disrespecting her body and has made some choices that she may live to regret when she is much older. A lot of the accessories she is wearing represent bondage, control, and death. So, if you wear those ones... what message do you send to others?"
You know, I think she got it. We walked across the hall to another store and found some bright, fun accessories that she loved. Most things had zebra print somewhere on them, so many I was definitely seeing stripes by the time we left the mall. I've decided that I need to go to the mall with her more often. It is just interesting to know what she is thinking and leaning toward. Honestly she had no interest in punking way out and even mentioned that some things like neon bright pants were "too much", so I do feel somewhat calmer. I'm not interested in squashing her individual style but, keeping her on the ground. I don't blame her for not loving the things I love and I would wear for myself. What pre-teen/teenager wants to dress like their mother??
